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When I was offered a job as a junior network television executive at age 26, I was beyond excited. Amanda, a TV veteran who worked on some great shows, seemed intimidating from afardropdead gorgeous and extremely successfulbut in our interview, she was warm and funny, listened carefully to my ideas, and complimented me on everything from my intellect to my earrings. I showed up my first day thinking, "This will be the Best. Job. Ever."



Instead, I drove home every night in tears. It was like high school all over again. How could this be happening in a respected company run by professionals?



Apparently, it happens a lot. According black friday deals on uggs to a nationwide poll by the Employment Law Alliance, 45 percent of American workers say they've experienced workplace abuse. But oddly enough, while men are equalopportunity bullies, pushing around both male and female coworkers, the 40 percent of tormentors who are women tend to pick on other women more than 70 percent of the time. "They tend to turn their backs on bad behavior in a way men might not."



So how do you know whether you're being bullied or simply dealing with a difficult boss or coworker? The clearest sign: Bullying is something that happens again and 2013 black friday uggs again. "It's not just your boss having a bad day every now and then," Namie says. The harassment can include yelling; intimidating or humiliating behavior, like angry criticism and personal insults; or sabotage, whether it's vicious gossip or taking credit for someone else's work.



Pretty nasty stuffand the stress of the recession hasn't helped. In a survey from the Workplace Bullying Institute earlier this year, 27 percent of respondents said their offices had become more abusive over the previous nine months, partly because of the pressure of the times. And when people are stressed, they're more likely to act out. Talk about a perfect storm for bad behavior.



Elizabeth, 27, found herself in the eye of one of those storms during her first job as a publishing assistant in New York City. Her perfectionist boss was known for making cutting remarks, zeroing in on people's weaknesses, and reducing staffers to tears. "Every week I did a long report for her, and I made a small mistake on one," Elizabeth recalls. "The next day, she slammed the files down and yelled in front of everyone, 'Fing fix this!'"



Then there are the bosses who stay cool as ice but are just plain sadistic. "Women are better at reading emotions," says Robert Sutton, a professor of management science at Stanford University. "So they're good at little digs that most men wouldn't even register the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else."



Anyone tortured by a Mean Girl in adolescence knows that these tactics can get personal. Molly says that her boss insulted her hair ("She said it was too curly and, at a meeting, asked the whole group to chip in for me to get a proper haircut") and each morning said hello to everyone in the office but her.



It's these pointed digs that make some female bullies more toxic than the classic rageaholic. "A man might give you an unreasonable work load and then yell at you for not completing it. Mean women take advantage of vulnerabilities," Namie says. "They'll backstab, undermine, and exclude to hurt other women."